I tried to imagine myself in that situation and I don’t think I would be so “cool” about it. Isn’t it the parent’s responsibility to teach the kids to aspire for bigger and better things, build up their ambitions and make sure that they are aware of all the things they can possibly achieve if they put in that effort and hard work? How can you just sit back and let the kids take control of their future at such a young age when they don’t know any better? Of course I don’t agree with putting so much pressure on the kids that they break – something we Asian parents are sometimes guilty of - but yes, I do believe that as parents, we need to play an active role in shaping our kids’ futures and making sure that just like we try to provide the best for them now, we should ensure that they would be able to provide the best for themselves in the future. When I look back at my life itself – if my parents had not pressured me to do better at studies and if they did not value education as much as they do – I would not be in a position I am now. At a time when most of the girls my age were asked to help with the housework etc., my mom would always tell me to focus on my studies instead.
So yeah – if my daughter comes up and tells me she wants to be a music teacher and so doesn’t want to go to a good college – my reaction would be, “ yes that’s okay, but right now you have to make sure you get through a good college with good grades, so that tomorrow if you realize singing is not really your passion, you can get a cushy white collar job to fall back on”. Education is not something you mess with.
2 comments:
I dont know - here there are targeted activities for kids after elementary I think, so as a parent you can nurture what your kid is good at. So by the time they are at the end of high school they should have a fair idea of what they want to do and as a parent your responsibility is to make sure it is what they're good at (be it music). For us, we didnt have anything but maths or biology or commerce, and we didnt have targeted education until after 10th, so we didnt know squat. OTOH it's lucky that we were good at and liked what we ended up doing, many were forced, and the 2-3 I know who had the balls to stand up and say I'm doing arts or whatever are happy and doing well.
arre yeah - it's good to let kids select what they are interested in but then at least they should aim to be the best in that field and not give up on studies. Aim to be like a Conductor or whatever and go for a Masters in Music or whatever. basically what i am against is agreeing to the "low" goal that the child sets for himself - if i am going to be a music teacher in an elem school, i dont really need to study much - that kind of thing.
btw, yesterday we found out another friend's son scored perfect scores in SATs and some 2 addnl course tests - he is a math genius but wants to specialize in creative writing - his techie dad is disappointed but supportive. i would be the same probably.. as long as they get good education and will have a good future in whatever they like - i am okay. but of course, i will also try my best to steer them towards high paying, easy professions like ours..
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